The dating book that changed my life | Anh Duc Nguyen | TEDxHanoi Youth

[Music] why would you read a dating book what is in a dating book that you should know that is not natural to us you might question that because not many of us here I think ever read a dating book but for me it all came back to first year in college I was shy I was in my room right I was watching YouTube all day I

was watching Netflix all day and I'm doing nothing I had no friends I don't even go to the gym even though the gym is like next to my room and you know the worst part about my first year in college I got friend zoned I got friend zone not once not twice three times they all said you look like a very good friend to me let's

keep it that way like I just hate my life I was blaming all my problems all my parents because I was thinking if my family was richer we would live a happier life that's what I thought when I was in college so then that was my brother so he's like the opposite of me he has scholarships for bachelor he has scholarship for Masters he got monthly

expenses paid for by the school so basically he gets paid to go to school and he's been having his six-pack since high school and he's in a music band so technically he's the exact opposite of me he's the popular Asian kid in school so that one day my brother so he came into my room right boom he opened the door that's like dirty laundry on the

floor there's trash on my table it's like a tidy space for my laptop and he was looking at me he's like yo bro what you doing why is the room so messy why are you not doing anything with your life while you're watching all this junk TV shows and not even exercising and I was just mumbling I was like bro I don't I don't know what

I'm doing he said you're wasting all this potential you're wasting all this opportunity you're wasting time on this trash TV shows what you should be doing greater things with your life a few years later you're gonna look back and you're gonna realize all the times you wasted you could have been better than this and we just kept on talking and eventually he introduced me to this

book the book is called models by Mark Manson and this one was recently translated to Vietnamese so you could find it in the bookstores he said just read the first chapter of this book and tell me if you didn't learn anything I was really doubting the book because you know all the cliches self-help book how to be rich how to make money how to be a

millionaire I was thinking the same I was thinking if these books could help anybody why would no one be rich when they buy the book no if everyone is Rich why is rich none of the readers rich but you know I was I was heartbroken I was friend zoned so I was like yo okay I got nothing better to do I'll just read the first chapter

so the first chapter would you date yourself that's the big question would you date yourself if you were your crush and of course I had no money I have no Mercedes I have no job I suck at school I'm fat I'm lazy I wouldn't date myself if I was the girl that I like why would she have to date me that's when reality hits that's when

I realized that the perspective you learn from the books is really going to flip your mind around I learned that woman when they like someone it was never about the money if you think woman dates a Man based on money then all the guys with the Rolex all the guys with the Mercedes with the Rolls-Royce in the club they would be getting all the girls right

but then it doesn't happen like that there's always more to a man to a person than money there's always the intangible value there's always the respect people give to you there's always the confidence you carry yourself the way you dress the way you work there are so many factors in life for a man to be living in this world that is more than just money it

really changed my life like you just saw the photo with something right it's my Film Production like we've been doing very well for the my age because I'm relatively young in the business space I'm older than most of you here the students but for the business age I'm like the younger side in the tech side I'm also on the younger side and um I have my

book startup I I have a lot of users and thankfully they've been supporting the app because I've been sharing me and my team we've been sharing knowledge that I wish the book had taught me earlier and I'm sharing with the younger generation and it was technically the younger me and of course I had a lot of fails the monies that I burned in the startup I

but we all learn from each other and I still wonder why that I'm still a young kid in the career and they would still hang out with me because I had no money remember I had no money even now I still have no money because my startup is still burning money but I realized I never had so much money in my life it was all the

value that I learned from the books that improved me as a man and I learned about stoicism so I was blaming my parents for not having money right I was blaming that my family was not rich I wasn't driving a nice car in school I was struggling I had to work a part-time job that was blaming that for not doing well in school but stoicism taught

me that there's a lot of problems in life but the problems are what makes life livable and enjoyable because when you wish your life was smooth with no problem that's when you're not living anymore do you ever imagine like the summer when you just have nothing to do that's when you start doing stupid stuff so when you learn about stoicism and you read more about life

you realize that these problems in your life will always be there even when you're rich you're successful there will always be problem and so I learned to accept the problems as part of my life and I enjoy the journey that's how I don't get stressed anymore because even though how well you prepare for Life there will always be problems and it's going to happen at the

worst time so don't be like me waiting for someone like my brother to hand me a book don't wait for someone to give you an opportunity because the books are always there the books will always give you the blueprints the guidelines for everything you need in life you might think that books are cheesy but let me tell you the books they're like your best mentor you

don't have to come work with someone like me or some work with someone in the industry to have knowledge nowadays internet is free and I hope you take one small step every day so you live your life with passion even your decision to come here today could be the small step to your big change thank you [Applause]