Top 5 Most-Watched Pretaped Sketches | Season 48 | Saturday Night Live

[ Scary music plays ] -Looking for better rates? -Jesus. -You know you won't find them. With State Farm's Rate Match, even if you do find cheaper coverage, we'll just match it. [ Smooches ] -This is my house, and I want him gone. He is not a good neighbor! -Get your finger out of my face! -Save even more when you bundle home and auto. -At Southwest Airlines,

with a better, more modern Southwest experience. -For starters, we are finally upgrading our entire communications system to 2008 Dell computers. -That's right. We are saying bye-bye to those 2002 IBM ThinkPad laptops with the little red nipple in the middle. -Also, no more missing baggage at baggage claim, guaranteed. -From here on out, all luggage will be sorted by color. -That makes it your responsibility, not ours. -So,

if you're going to Dallas, bring a red suitcase. -Don't show up with a blue bag. Blue bags go to Charlotte. -And make sure to get to the airport early to enjoy our new Southwest Premiere Lounge, located inside an active Starbucks. We just get there early and hold down two or three tables for y'all. -Southwest is also modernizing our entire air traffic control network. -No more pen

and paper. Our air traffic specialists will now be using our old IBM ThinkPad laptops with the little red nipple in the middle. -Now I get a proper flight schedule instead of finding out where I'm going 15 minutes before takeoff. -And now we're streamlining check-in by not having one at all. -We're just trying to fill up the plane and go. -You showed your ticket at security, right?

You good. -We're also upgrading our in-flight staff strictly with people who used to work at Waffle House. So come at them if you want, but these big bitches don't play. -Here at Southwest, mistakes were made, and that's on us. Mostly. Some of it's on you. -Hey, man, let's keep it real. You bought the ticket. -Again, you bought a Southwest ticket. You obviously don't respect yourself, so

why should we? -Thank you. -Thank you. -Thank you. -For flying Southwest. -Welcome aboard. -Southwest Airlines. If it's that important to you, just walk. -As a homeowner, you never know what's going to go wrong. -I wanted to give them a bath. -Luckily, State Farm has you covered no matter what the issue. And with the State Farm app, you can file a claim in seconds so you can

get back to your life. -Wow, that was easy. Thanks, Jake from State Farm. -Like a good neighbor, State Farm is there. -Guess I won't be late for work after all. [ Chuckles ] -One more thing. Is this dryer-safe? [ Laughter ] -Bye, hon. -Have a great day. Hey, do you want a cup of coffee? -I'd love one. -No matter what your insurance needs, State Farm has

a policy for you. -Hello? -Aah! -Oh, Jake from State Farm. You're still here. -Well, unlike other insurance companies, State Farm's here for you 24/7. -Right. Uh, so, what's the plan for dinner? -Oh, Jake and the kids and I went out for pizza. But there should be stuff in the fridge to make a sandwich. -Hey, come here. Hey, my man. Boom, boom, boom. -Text me when you

get home. -Okay, I will. [ Alarm blaring ] -In sports, the Blue Jays and the Yankees meet tonight in the deciding game of the American League East pennant race. [ Vehicle approaching ] -There you go. Whoa. Look who's up, sleepyhead. Think fast. [ Laughs ] -Hey. Where the hell were you? -Jake thought it'd be nice to take the kids to church. -To church? -Yes, to church.

And I happen to agree. Now excuse me. -See? You're getting it. You're a natural. Give me some. Hmm! Like a good neighbor, State Farm is there. Ooh! Some heat. State Farm is there. He paid the insurance claim. [ Laughter ] State Farm is there. State Farm is there. Looking for better rates? -Jesus. -You know you won't find them. With State Farm's Rate Match, even if you

do find cheaper coverage, we'll just match it. [ Smooches ] -This is my house, and I want him gone. He is not a good neighbor! -Get your finger out of my face! -Save even more when you bundle home and auto. -Well, sleep tight. State Farm's here for you 24/7. -I just wanted a policy! Like a good neighbor, State Farm is there And here and in my

bed With my wife! He took everything. Everything! [ Siren chirps ] -Step away from the edge. You don't have to do this, buddy. - LiMu Emu -And Doug. -LiMu and I can help. -[ Squawks ] - Liberty, Liberty, Liberty Liberty -Anyone out here watching this new show "House of Dragons"? [ Cheers and applause ] I am the biggest "Game of Thrones" fan. I love their new

show and I got to tell you, I love that they're including Black characters, but, to be honest, the Black characters, um, they take me out of it a little bit with the -- it's that blonde hair and the old-time accents. It's a little jarring. You're like, "Where are these people from?" You know what I mean? And then they're coming out with Season 2, I guess, soon,

and, somehow, Lorne Michaels arranged a sneak peek of Season 2 of "House of Dragons." Exclusive, so check it out. [ Cheers and applause ] [ "House of the Dragon" theme song plays ] -Before we go to war with Kings Landing, we must know who our true allies are. -These represent all of our possible alliances, Your Grace. -Thank you, Daemon. -And I've prepared this family tree so

we know who the hell everyone is. -Yes, because our names are insane and sound identical. -I've also prepared a chart of who's having sex with whom and, weirdly enough, it's the same as the family tree. -You have a visitor, Your Grace. [ Door opens ] Lord of the Tides, the Sea Snake himself, Corlys Velaryon. -Lord Corlys, this is a most welcome surprise. Where have you come

from? -The Matrix. Just kidding. -You must've been at sea a long time, then. -Oh, of course. This is where my people are most comfortable, the ocean. Yeah, we especially love being on ships! Never have any concerns with ships or what might happen to us on ships. -Have you come alone? -Oh, no, no, I brought my granddaughters, Baela and Rhaena. -Greetings, Your Grace. -So happy to have

traveled 40 days by ship in this ball gown, Your Grace. -It's wonderful to see you since you are betrothed to my nephew/stepsons Jace and Luke. -Yes, I look at my future husband, and I think, he is definitely going to satisfy me sexually. -Mm-hmm. -And to what do we owe the honor of your visit, Lord Corlys? -Yeah, well, you know, I know that you in need of

allies now that your father has died. -Died? [ Groans ] -Oh, my God, man. What is happening with your face? -The doctor says it's nothing. Just a little cough and my skin melted and my eye fell out. -Well, I found you some new allies from even further-away lands that have come to pay their respects to the true queen. -Well, well, well. Good to see you, Your

Grace. Cousin Daemon, well, I haven't seen you in a long time. How does it feel to have sex with your niece? Yuck. -This whole family looks like the sun took a look and said, "No, thank you." [ Laughs ] -Your Majesty, looks like you got a case of the monkey pox. -[ Laughs ] -You're going to die any minute, ain't you? -Yeah, yeah. -Well, if it

isn't our cousin, light-skinned Larry Targaryen. -[ Chuckles ] Silky, your hoes are so old their titties give powdered milk. -You look like E.T. when they dressed him up for Halloween. -Ha. -Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, all that was hateful, man. -Your Jheri curl's getting a little dry. -That's that dragon spray. -More visitors approach. -Pardon me, Your Grace, but I think your penis just fell off. If

you don't want it anymore, can I keep it? Might be able to get some money for that. -Who is this foul man? -I came here for some dragon rocks. I'm down to my last one. -What the hell is going on here? -You mind if I, um, get a light? Dracarys. -Be gone, all of you. -Oh, no, there's more. -I'm one of the baddest mother[bleep] Westeros has

ever seen. One of the best singers and one of the best dancers, too. I'm Aegon Targaryen, bitch, rider of dragons. I heard you like to ride lizards. Want to ride mine, Your freaking Majesty? -[ Roars ] -Take me to Flea Bottom so I can check on my hoes. -What up, Tar? I got a dragon now. -[Bleep] No, dragon. [Bleep] No, dragon. [ Siren chirps ] -Good

God, it's the police. What are they doing all the way up here? No matter how high I fly, they always find you, don't they? -Winter has arrived, y'all. -Temperatures dropping. -And you know what that means. -It's cuffing season. -That time of year when we find a man to keep us warm through these cold months. -But not just any man will do. -That's right -- we out

here looking for some...big boys. - It's cuffing season Now we got a reason to get a big boy I need a big boy Give me a big boy - Big, b-big, b-big, big boy - It's cuffing season All the girls are leaving to get a big boy - Big boy - I need a big boy - Big boy - I want a big boy - I

need a big boy with polar bear arms Keeps me warm in the winter snowstorm Wind chill is biting, but his jacket's unzipped He bring in my groceries in just one trip - Till the sun comes back, I need a big boy hottie Makes his own heat with his big boy body For the next three months, skinny boys is dead Forget a six-pack, I need the whole

damn keg - Big boy with a big old back A California king, refrigerator stacked With steaks on steaks on steaks on steaks on steaks B-Butter, bacon, cheese, and lasagna in the tray - Need an enormous man with an enormous stand Feeds me snacks with his enormous hands And I hope he asks me to be his winter wife 'Cause messing with a big boy will change your

life - It's cuffing season All the girls be needing Need a big boy I want a big boy Give me a big boy - I need a big boy body like a bouncer Big mouth breather and legs like a monster Get in the bed and he gonna do me right And when we all done, he gonna snore all night And then he stops -[ Snorts ]

-Babe! Babe! Did this man just die? -[ Snorts ] - Anything I need, my big boy got it If I need a snack, he got Snickers in his pocket - Big warm hoodie, yeah, you know I'm gonna rock it And if we gonna travel You know he gonna put me in first class 'Cause he don't fit in the back - Hey, big boys Go, big boys

Hey, big boys I like a big boy -Oh, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait! Punkie, I thought you only liked girls. -I love girls, but they can't keep me warm. I want to be the little spoon sometimes. It's like this. Being man enough to hold you Taking care of kids and wife I mow the lawn, take out the trash You don't think that I be tired?

All I do is work and stress And I could use a big boy so I can just relax He need to have them love handles In the front and in the back And, yes, I want him three layers Like McDonald's Big Macs But if we talking girls, yo, I like my women big And it don't matter what the season Like 'em thick, oh, yeah, yeah, yeah

- It's cuffing season And now we got a reason to get a big boy I want a big boy Give me a big, big, big boy -We out here, ladies. We the reason for the season. These bears don't hibernate in the winter. And you know where to find us. We'll be shoveling snow in shorts. - Big, b-big, b-big boys -HBO's "The Last of Us" is a

hit, proving a video game can become a prestige dystopian drama. This spring, HBO is doing it again with another iconic game. -It's been 10 years since our kingdom fell. The only thing we have left? Hope. -I have important cargo I need smuggled to Rainbow Road. People say you used to drive? -People say a lot of things. -You got a name? -It's-a me... Mario. So, what's the

cargo? -Not what. Who. She's a princess. At least she was until he took over. -We'll never make it on foot. -You won't have to. [ Beeping ] -Let's a-go. -From the producers of "The Last of Us" and the master storytellers behind "Mario Karts" 1 through 8... -What's it like out here? -Karting out here isn't a game. If we're going to make it, we need all the

help we can get. [ Knock on door ] [ Gun cocks ] -It's-a Luigi time. -Everything on this road wants us dead. -What is that thing? -Goomba -- sentient fungus with shoes for legs. -All your favorite wacky racers reimagined as complex dramatic HBO characters. -I'm Yoshi. I'm bisexual. -[ Roars ] -Name's Toad. Also, I'm bisexual. -"HBO picked the wrong game to do this with," raves Variety.

"Yeah, this ain't it," adds "The New York Times." -You eat that poison? -It makes me feel big, okay?! I need to feel big! 'Cause Bowser's out there. And he's the main bad guy. [ Tires screeching ] When we're out there in our karts... -Whoo-hoo! I love this [Ding] -...I need you to trust me. Hold on! [ Tires screech ] I'll get you to Rainbow Road. -There's

a shell on my 6! -You can dodge it! -No. It's red. -What if we crash? -A little guy in a cloud comes and uses a fishing pole to put you back on the road. -Oh. Okay. [ Beeping, gunshot ]