A First Responder's Journey Out of Darkness | Change Your Brain Foundation

that we do and I just couldn't get I couldn't get in front of my my anxiety my depression and my pts just there's nothing I just felt like I just couldn't so I ended up going off duty and um I've had a couple of suicide attempts I'm going through a lot with uh with my PTSD it's really hard to explain and there's you know a lot

of shame in you know having ideation or feeling that way or getting as close as I did you know I went into my uh my gun safe and I got my AR and you know I thank God my wife was was there and heard it and and she got she dropped the clip out and got the gun away from me you know and um ended up

going to the psych hospital for for 10 days voluntarily you know definitely have had ideation and some close calls you know what I thought was a really bad night was actually a turning point in my whole life this couldn't have come at a better time in that Treatment Center that I was helping out with we were sending some of our First Responders to you guys to

and then we took a tour and I mean I always thought like man that would be really that would be really cool to do that so you guys are doing what um really good work and I think um yeah moving forward I think all all First Responders can benefit from the gaming clinic for sure the biggest thing we'll see in the scans of First Responders will

often look for the diamond pattern where your anterior singlet which is associated with depression your basal ganglia your overactive get associated with anxiety and then your Thalamus which if it's overactive gets associated with depression if you do a line between them you get a diamond so this is our left basil Gangnam took a little red spot when we get white anxiety the the part of my

brain that's responsible for the anxiety and seeing the you know seeing that with my own two eyes like it doesn't make me feel like crazy like some a lot of a lot of the time I think I feel like why can't I just go out in public why can't I just get up and do this why can't I you know and it's there's the the facts

you know and like I said it's something I can do about it what are we missing and how is he feeling and he said he's got anxiety and if we look at his basal ganglia uh it's lit up we need to use something I could use the medication I opted to use a Gaba magnesium just because I see them work at least initially quite well medically

I would consider you know just to help your temporal lobes a little bit there's something called hyperbaric oxygen therapy you increase the oxygen concentration and atmospheric pressure and it pushes oxygen across the blood-brain barrier getting help support those areas where we got some bumps here to get better okay I've been kind of hibernating and in isolation for the last couple months and and lost a little

bit of Hope for a second there and and I've definitely regained that so moving forward I think you know it was the brain scans that got me up and out of my house you know and actually show up to these appointments and knowing that there's there's a that I'm going to get the relief again and the anxiety like it just makes me want to go outside

more it makes me want to do more it makes me want to you know experience life you know I just felt like I I got unplugged from it and I just forgot how to do it we're dealing with people and we learned something every time we see somebody new as a first responder especially you know um firefighter paramedic like I know I know for a fact

that my brothers and sisters in service are they're still so they're suffering too with this and it's and um you know we the change has to be made because there's a suicide epidemic going on I've been suicidal I understand it and I just it breaks my heart what I'd say to my you know brothers and sisters in service especially the fire department um I would just

tell them that there is actual science behind what's going on with with your anxiety depression hyper vigilance you know that that there's actual evidence and that your brain is injured and it's normal you know um and that there's an answer that you know here at the Amen Clinics you'll get a scan of what that looks like and be able to have a treatment and getting better

you know that I think that really speaks to First Responders it takes the stigma away and it you know it makes it just normalizes and it takes mental health and kind of changes it into brain health what would I want for people like Maddie I want him to get help but I want them to get help with the most Cutting Edge scientifically based data driven individuals

who have not just the kind of number science piece down but also how to take the numbers in science and apply it to your heart because when you do that things can really take off I'm just really grateful I'm not a negative person and I'm tired of being depressed you know and I'm excited to to get back out in life and start experiencing life again and

start back you know getting back in service [Music]