Weekend Update: Funky Kong on The Super Mario Bros. Movie - SNL

>> THE NEW MARIO BROTHERS MOVIE IS A HUGE HIT, AND MANY FANS WERE HOPING FOR AN APPEARANCE FROM ONE OF THE COOLEST CHARACTERS, FUNKY KONG. SO HERE TO TALK ABOUT IT IS FUNKY KONG. >> WHAT'S U COLIN? WHAT'S UP, LADIES? WHICH ONE OF Y'ALL GOING HOME WITH FUNKY KONG. >> ALL RIGHT. HOW ARE YOU DOING, FUNKY KONG? >> I'VE BEEN BETTER. I THOUGHT I WAS GOING

TO BE ALL OVER THIS MOVIE THAT JUST MADE $500 MILLION -- 600. BUT THIS IS HOW MUCH YOU GET TO SEE OF ME. >> YOU'RE JUST IN THE BACKGROUND? WHAT HAPPENED? >> THEY CUT ME OUT. I GUESS I'M TOO REAL FOR THEM. THEY DON'T WANT TO HEAR WHAT I GOTS TO SAY, AND THEY SURE AS HELL DON'T WANT TO WATCH ME WORK. BRING IT BACK. >>

WOW. I'M SO SORRY YOU GOT CUT. >> FUNKY DON'T WANT TO BE WHAT THEY WANT, COLIN. FUNKY DON'T THROW NO BARRELS. FUNKY KONG SPENDS ALL DAY CRUISING IN MY CART AND MY NIGHTS WITH A GLASS FULL OF BANANA RUM AND A BED FULL OF TOADS. >> ARE THE TOADS MALE OR FEMALE? >> FUNKY DON'T KNOW, FUNKY DON'T ASK. >> IT'S A SHAME YOU'RE NOT IN THE

MOVIE BECAUSE YOUR COUSIN DONKEY KONG IS A MAJOR CHARACTER. >> YEAH, DONKEY KONG IS ALL UP IN IT. BUT THEY AIN'T EVEN USE MONKEY KONG. >> WHO IS MONKEY KONG? >> HE'S A DONKEY. THEM JAPANESE PEOPLE SURE ARE INTERESTING. YOU KNOW THEY KICKED ME OFF THE SET? >> WHAT? WHY? >> BECAUSE I WAS IN MY TRAILER DRUMMING ON BOOTY CHEEKS LIKE BONGOS. I WAS IN THERE

LIKE, BOOTY CHEEKS, BOOTY CHEEKS. >> GREAT. REALLY GREAT. SO YOU WERE ORIGINALLY IN THE MOVIE. >> ABSOLUTELY, MAN. I HAD A FEW CHOICE SCENES. I WAS INCREDIBLE. I EVEN HAVE THE OLD SCRIPT RIGHT HERE. READ THIS WITH ME. I'LL SHOW YOU WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT. YOU BE MARIO AND LUIGI. >> LUIGI, WE GOT TO GET TO THE CASTLE. BUT THE FASTEST WAY IS RAINBOW ROAD. MARIO,

RAINBOW ROAD? WE'LL FALL OFF. >> MAN, AIN'T NO BITCHES IN HERE. >> I CAN'T BELIEVE THAT'S THE ORIGINAL LINE. >> I TOLD YOU, MAN. I WAS DOPE. GO TO PAGE 36, MAN. THE SCENE WITH ME AND PEACH. >> YOU AND PEACH. OKAY. PRINCESS PEACH, FUNKY KONG, THEY'RE HOLDING OUR FRIENDS PRISONER AT WARIO STADIUM. CAN YOU HELP? >> GIRL, WHY DON'T YOU GO ON AND OPEN UP

THAT PEACH AND LET ME SEE WHAT'S INSIDE. >> ALL RIGHT. HONESTLY, I CAN SEE WHY THEY CUT YOU OUT. >> COME ON. PEOPLE WOULD HAVE EATEN THAT UP, MAN. YOU EVER HAD MONKEY MEAT? >> NO. >> THAT'S NOT WHAT YOUR MAMA SAID LAST NIGHT. BRING IT BACK! >> FUNKY KONG, EVERYONE. >> I'LL TAKE THAT.