First Warm Day of the Year Red Carpet Cold Open - SNL

>>> LIVE FROM CENTRAL PARK, IT'S >> WELL, FOLKS, IT'S MID APRIL HERE IN NEW YORK CITY, AND THE TEMPERATURE HIT 90 DEGREES THIS WEEK, A FULL TWO MONTHS AHEAD OF SCHEDULE. WHILE THAT MAY BE TERRIFYING ON A CLIMATE LEVEL, THE WARM WEATHER CAN ONLY MEAN ONE THING. ALL THE FREAKS, CRAZIES, AND WEIRDOS ARE HEADED TO CENTRAL PARK. AND WE'RE EXPECTED TO SEE SOME ICONIC PARK PEOPLE

TODAY, AREN'T WE, JACE? >> WE SURE ARE. THE MOOD HERE IS ELECTRIC. THE SMELL OF HORSE MANURE IS IN THE AIR. IT'S A MAN DOING AN AGGRESSIVE POWER WALK. >> HI THERE. >> FIRST, DISH ON THIS OUTFIT. >> CERTAIN WILL I. I'M WEARING THE TIGHTEST SPANDEX SHIRT OF ALL TIME, LITTLE SHORTS, AND A WEIRD HEART RATE MONITOR STRAPPED TO MY ARM. >> ICONIC. CAN YOU GIVE

US A PREVIEW OF YOUR WALK? >> ABSOLUTELY. BEHIND YOU, BEHIND YOU, ON YOUR LEFT. AND THERE IT IS. >> WOW, GORGEOUS. DANA. >> WELL, JACE, I AM STAR STRUCK RIGHT NOW AS I AM JOINED BY NOT ONE BUT TWO PERVERTS WHO CAME TO THE PARK TO PLEASURE THEMSELVES. >> NICE TO BE OUT OF THE SUBWAY. >> EXCITED FOR THE BIG DAY? >> OH, YEAH. I GOT

MY MODESTY BLANKET AND BY KNOCK LARS, SO I'M GOOD TO GO. >> YOU KNOW WHERE TO FIND YOUR BOYS, THIS IS BUSHES, BABY. >> ANY NEW TECHNIQUES THIS YEAR? >> OH, JUST ONE. >> IS THAT A FAKE ARM? >> YEAH. >> WOW! SHAME ON YOU BOTH. JACE. >> WELL, WE WERE HOPING SHE WOULD MAKE AN APPEARANCE. IT'S A WOMAN LEARNING TO ROLLER BLADE. >> YEAH. I'VE

ALWAYS WANTED TO LEARN, AND I THOUGHT WHAT BETTER PLACE THAN ON A CROWDED PATHWAY FILLED WITH THOUSANDS OF PEOPLE. >> HORRIBLE PLAN. LET'S SEE WHAT YOU GOT. >> HERE I GO. >> AND SHE FELL RIGHT AWAY. DANA. >> WELL, LOOK WHO I FOUND. TWO OF CENTRAL PARK'S FINEST. PARK EMPLOYEES WHO DO NOT CARE ABOUT THEIR JOBS. HOW YOU GUYS FEELING? >> WE ARE VERY HIGH RIGHT

NOW. YES. THANK YOU FOR ASKING. >> AMAZING. ANY WARNINGS FOR THOSE WHO VIOLATE PARK RULES? >> YOU DO YOU. >> INSPIRING WORDS. JACE, I HEAR YOU'VE SPOTTED AN ABSOLUTE LEGEND. >> WELL, I HOPE SHE'LL STOP TO TALK. IT'S A LADY TRYING TO TELL SOMEONE WHERE SHE IS. >> WELL, I DON'T SEE YOU, BITCH. I'M RIGHT WHERE I SAID I WOULD BE. RIGHT BY THE BIG TREE,

THE BIG TREE NEAR THE BRIDGE. >> OH, JUST MISSED HER. DANA. >> HE'S BACK. IT'S THE GROWN MAN WITH THE DRONE WHO'S ALONE. >> HEY, THERE. >> AND YOU WON'T BE FILMING GIRLS LAYING OUT SUN BATHING, WILL YOU? >> NO. >> I DON'T BELIEVE YOU. NOW, JACE, THIS GUY IS BAD, BUT I HEAR YOU'RE WITH ONE OF THE WORST PARK PEOPLE OF ALL. >> I SURE

AM. IT'S THE GUY WITH THE CLIPBOARD WHO WANTS TO KNOW IF YOU HAVE A SECOND FOR A GOOD CAUSE. NOW, PEOPLE ABSOLUTELY HATE YOU. CAN YOU TELL US WHY? >> WELL, I THINK IT'S BECAUSE I ZERO IN ON FOLKS TRYING TO ENJOY THEMSELVES AND PESTER THEM FOR MONEY. >> ABSOLUTELY. CAN WE SEE THAT IN ACTION? >> YOU BET. WOW. COOL SHIRT. YOU HAVE A SECOND FOR

-- >> NO! I DONATED BEFORE. >> WHAT AN ABSOLUTE PAIN IN THE ASS. DANA. >> IT'S A BIRD, IT'S A PLANE. IT'S A CRAZY MAN WITH A MICROPHONE. >> GOOD TO BE BACK FOR ANOTHER YEAR. >> AND I SEE YOU BROUGHT A LADY FRIEND WITH YOU. >> I SURE DID. THIS WOMAN WILL BE DEBATING THE NONSENSE THAT I SCREAM AS IF I'M A RATIONAL MAN WHOSE

MIND CAN BE CHANGED. >> CAN WE GET A PREVIEW? >> OF COURSE. >> OUR PLEASURE. >> BIDEN CREATED THE CORONAVIRUS. >> THAT IS BOLOGNA! >> WOW. I CAN'T TELL WHO ANNOYS ME MORE. JACE. >> WELL, WE HAVE BEEN WAITING FOR HER TO ARRIVE. IT'S WEALTHY WOMAN AND CHILD. I FOUGHT TO ASK, WHAT'S THE PLAN TODAY? >> I'M TAKING RILEY HERE TO THE PLAYGROUND WHERE I'LL SNAP

INTO AN IMMEDIATE PANIC IF I LOSE SIGHT OF HIM FOR ONE MINUTE. RILEY? RILEY! >> OH, NO. >> WELL, I STILL DON'T SEE YOU. YOU KNOW WHAT? I'M DONE LOOKING FOR YOU, BITCH. YOU COME FIND ME. I'LL BE IN THE GRASS IN A RED BIKINI GETTING MYSELF SOME SUN. >> WELL, WE'VE GOT PLENTY MORE PARK PEOPLE COMING UP, INCLUDING A WOMAN WITH AN OUT OF CONTROL

DOG AND A PERFORMANCE FROM SOME A-HOLE PLAYING A GUITAR. AND LIVE -- >> OKAY. GIRL, >> LIVE FROM NEW YORK, IT'S SATURDAY NIGHT!